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The twelve days of Christmas ...

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Church Minshull

Its clackety-clack and paws down to write December's blog for you: before I forget I must tell you that himself forgot one of the (feeble) puns he put in my blog last month. He's just spent a few minutes re-reading it (pity he doesn't re-read the blog after writing it you may say) and thinks he's found it. Anyway I reminded him that the first one was the mention of Foxtrot and the words Boom-Boom, yes you've remembered now, Basil Brush! Turn the volume up and click here. He thinks the second was the link bewteen B...B... and the "Remember remember, gunpowder plot" title but let's just leave it there shall we? The purist will probably say they aren't puns anyway, just wordplay and not very good either. As you can see from my portrait I'm bored of his feeble and punishing attempts at humour .....

So to make up for it, or not, here is my version of the twelve days of Christmas as dictated to himself. For the full experience you will of course have to keep coming back here to see how the days progress, or not ..... Ah ha, I see that some of you have returned to check on progress. Well there's more nonsense to come over the next few days!

 

On the first day of Christmas my people gave to me,
A squirrel up a pear tree ....

Minshull Vernon

On the second day of Christmas my people gave to me
Two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

On the third day of Christmas my people gave to me
Three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

On the fourth day of Christmas I gave to themselves,
Four ear plugs, for three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

Cholmondeston

On the fifth day of Christmas my people gave to me,
Five yellow flashing yellow LED dog collars so I don't get lost at night, four ear plugs for three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

On the sixth day of Christmas my people gave to me
Six muddy walks,
five yellow flashing LED dog collars so I don't get lost at night, four ear plugs to block out three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

On the seventh day of Christmas I gave to themselves,
Seven dirty fur shakes,
six muddy walks, five yellow flashing LED dog collars so I don't get lost at night, four ear plugs to block out three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ....

On the eighth day of Christmas my people gave to me,
Eight cold hosing downs,
seven dirty fur shakes, six muddy walks, five yellow flashing LED dog collars so I don't get lost at night, four ear plugs to block out three squeaky toys, two honking ducks and a squirrel up a pear tree ...

 

 

I hope you are singing this rhyme now as there will be more to come! Well apologies to the hordes of you who logged on the other day to see if himself had updated the rhyme AND FOUND NOTHING!!! Some problem with the data centre hosting the website, or something technical like that that himself tried to explain to me and failed. Anyway we're up and running again!!

 

Madai the Labrador — your rovering reporter

PS: for the non-dog owning reader, a "honking duck" toy can become very repetitive in a Labrador's jaws!
PPS: when you have black fur you can't be seen out and about in the garden at night. Himself has got the better of me by insisting on a natty flashing yellow collar — I refuse to pose for a picture of it!

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