The Church Minshull Community Website
By Madai the Labrador - 1st April 2018 7:00am
As I dictate this to himself I feel that Spring has sprung though the weather beast may be having another fling when my musings go live on the village website. While the second "Beast from the East" was doing its worst I was on holiday at Auntie Audrey's aka Ash House Kennels at Darnhall — now they know how to make a proper fuss of you! Anyway before I went there herself was looking through my papers (I'm so important I have an envelope all of my own in himself's desk) and said something I didn't understand about being due annual injections? So next day it was off to my friend the nice Vetman, where I met the senior chap. He was clearly a good judge of character: he said I was in excellent condition and that I was a good example of a working Lab. (As an aside what is a non-working Lab other than those pottery models for Guide Dogs that I told you about a few months ago?) Then he ruffled my neck, but must have had a snag on his nail as something jagged at me. To make it better he then squirted something up my nose. At this stage I was beginning to think he wasn't the senior chap after all and might be a fraud so I showed him how good my teeth are. That must have done the trick as he seemed to forget about the injection and told herself to call at the desk on the way out. The lady on the desk is very nice and gave me a new collar in exchange for a small shiny plastic card that was cluttering up herself's purse . I think there must have been something wrong with the plastic shiny card thing as they got it stuck in a machine and herself had to poke at it before the nice lady gave it back. I'll have one of those if you can get new collars just for letting someone have a look at your shiny card!
A few days later I took my friend Dexter for a walk to the Aqueduct Marina: while we dogs can go all day on a bowl of dry food and a lick at something decomposing by the edge of the path, our people seem to need regular refueling with coffee and cake, but I digress. On the way back I took them underneath the aqueduct, where it was so cold that there were great long icicles hanging down from the arched brick roof. My people had to stop Roger pulling a big icicle off in case it brought the roof down. Himself says this photo illustrates the W.C. Fields quote about never working with animals or children, and by the way Roger can look less dodgy if he tries (hard to). Anyway, Dexter's all right, even though he has a lot to say when he's in the car and when I borrow his tennis ball. Having seen their new car I think he's right to speak out when he's in it: "look out, here we come!!" When we got home Dexter taught me how to skin a tennis ball for when we catch rabbits and squirrels. Given my great speed, special grippy 4 leg drive with Labraclaws for faster cornering, keen eye and ear I'm surprised that this is something I've not managed yet, so let's just regard it as a "work in progress." Once we were back in the kitchen, where I have to say themselves were having (more!) coffee and cake, Dexter was given some of the cake! Roger said it was all right because it was really flapjack? Sue told him off (Roger that is) and himself told me that flapjack was poisonous for Labradors and bad for their throats . I'm not sure he's altogether right on that point and think I would be prepared to risk it. Is there a sinister plot here .....
I did warn you that he would get some feeble puns in this month, but better here than at home my mum says.
Madai — your rovering reporter
PS himself is being a bit slack at adding to my home page, but all my old blogs are there if you want to waste more time