Sloe, sloe, quick, quick, slow

It's me, Madai the Labrador, reporting to you on the comings and goings around Minshull. As you may have guessed from the title — in case you haven't looked out the window or checked the website — autumn is with us again and the Minshull dancers are donning their sparkly costumes ready for Monday nights at the village hall, aka the Tower Ballroom. Before we get on with the blog I have to say that I'm not impressed with your attempts to find last month's pun — even with the hint (soup) I gave you after a few weeks. Baxter, the new black Labrador being a bit condensed — Baxter, think soup, think Campbell's condensed ..... Baxter being a puppy so a bit condensed. I don't know why I bother!

Back to the blog: I took themselves out for a walk the other day and while I was busy killing and chasing stick,s otherwise known as proper dog duties, they amused themselves by picking (himself adds "being pricked by" — I think I'll have to help you here, sloes are the fruit of the Blackthorn, clue is in the name!) a big bag of sloes. And they were slow, took them ages. No they're not for what you think, but for apple and sloe jelly (search me, I'd prefer the gin). So while they were fiddling about I was doing my chasse's and shimmies practising the foxtrot. So, its but a quick step to the title's link here (as I've obviously got to help you) that slow, slow, quick, quick, slow is the dance step sequence for the foxtrot — one of the dances that the "Strictly Minshull" team attempted to master last season and will continue to fail to do so this autumn. Having watched themselves practising I can safely report that where the "Strictly Minshull" team fall down (literally) is in the lack of both celebrities and professionals. Dan Steacher does his best, but sorry guys, Anton and Nadiya you ain't!

So last winter themselves installed a wildlife camera to see who was leaving the piles of inky stinky on my lawn: as expected we have lots of foxes trotting round the garden while I'm off duty (maybe they'd do better than themselves at Blackpool?) but at least the foxes help me to clear up the fallen damson problem. I sometimes chase them in the fields during the day but despite my great speed, agility and cunning they know all the shortcuts through the hedges and get away — unlike the plague of squirrels we have at the moment. The squirrels are on borrowed time, particularly the one who wasn't fast enough and got chased up the cherry tree as I was up his bumper — no way down for him except via my lawn .... until I was called in for tea.

Well that's enough nonsense for this month. Himself has put another EASY pun in my blog. Can you find it?Answers as usual on a post-card to madaithelabrador@gmail.com — a slice of squirrel pie to the first correct answer or two if you fail to get it.

Madai the Labrador - your rovering reporter

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