The Church Minshull Community Website
By Madai the Labrador - 1st April 2019 8:00am
Well, morning team — or afternoon if you're reading this later! Himself has just had a nasty surprise: after I'd given him the idea and he'd written this blog a few days ago themselves went to Ireland to see their little people. Logging on to check my blog the evening before publishing it he found that it had all gone! As in disappeared, vamoosed! Perhaps there is a Labrador virus in the computer that ate it (blog, not computer don't be daft) I suggested, before being banished from his writing room. So the carefully constructed poem will now be re-written and the computer glitch can be blamed ( I blame failure of attention to the save function, but what does a dog know?) for the poor state of the prose. You can see why himself didn't score highly in English at school ....
April now, tra la, tra lee, I hop and skip as gaily as the flea
That ventured on my furry back, muscled, shapely, canine, black
Before it ventured down below, to make me scratch and nearly howl
Until the words came from my dad: STOP THAT.
Being well disposed to him I did as I was told. Mister flea, that insect bold
Clearly had some trouble hearing, and giving way to base temptation
Continued with his depredation of my nethers.
Himself getting rather warm, said outloud "I could have sworn"
We'd bought some treatment for the bitch, to prevent this insect's itch.
Herself who had been pharmacist, looking at him quietly hissed:
"Use the proper words."
What we bought was prophylaxis, which if given stops the access
Of the insects to the fur. Perhaps you failed to treat her? Errr -
I remember giving pills that caused the dog colonic ills.
You fool she said, you must have given twice the dose for Madai's worms
Forgetting the insecticide, but making sure the helminths died!
Himself feeling very shameful, took me to the outside tap,
Where ripping off the plastic cap
Shampoo applied to stop the blight, caused by my ecto-parasite.
Ctenocepalides canis, we've discovered what his name is,
Words like that sound like a curse, so time to stop this silly verse.
If you think his feeble scanning well deserves a real panning
Stop and think a moment more, before you call the editor.
Reply will come, by mail or phone
"Did you think they didn't care, for the canine that they share
Their home with?"
Ed. will say sounding cruel,
You've been had — April Fool!
Madai the Labrador — your rovering reporter
PS: yes I hope normal service is resumed next month as well!
PPS: whoa — he forgot to put in the link to my home page where he has updated — yes I know you'd been waiting for it — the links to all my dictation and his feeble literary efforts