The Church Minshull Community Website
By Madai the Labrador - 1st May 2018 7:53am
Hello Minshull-ites its me, Madai, back with more musings on a dog's view of life! Well first up I can't get a grip on the weather. Himself says it should be called whether ... its going to be hot or cold, wet or dry. I've told him not to give up the day job just yet and to save his "humour" up for the grandchildren. When I dictated my last piece it was warm but then another eastern beast was upon us, then it was warm again, then it was cold and blowy then warm again and now cold and wet. Himself has just added that "Spring" should be renamed "Trip" because just as it gets going its over on its face. What did I tell you just now?
Stop press: perhaps spring has sprung as 1st May dawns sunny ..... but the frost still tickled my paws!
Anyway since we last met I've been overseas to Ireland, where they don't have weather, just wet (and a-her himself adds). We went on the fast ferry but the Captain didn't need my help and so I looked after my car. In Ireland my people had to look after a small person who was on school holiday: how can they expect to learn if they have a holiday? Labradors can learn everything they need in a few weeks so must be very bright. People take ages to learn things and they must have a slow puncture in their heads as the learning seems to leak out, a bit like the air out of my Mum's car tyre that went down as we arrived at Belfast Docks on the way back. We came back on the slow ferry and I think the Captain must have lost his way: it felt as if he was going across country with a lot of hills and rolly bits. I was too polite to pass any comment but the dog looking after the next door car had a lot to say about the Captain's driving. Then we went to the small boat that my people look after: I told you about it in May last year. It was so windy that my man had to be tied onto me with a rope to stop him falling into the water as we walked along. The next day it was nice and sunny so my people put the flappy sheets up the metal stick again and we spent all afternoon sailing along in the sun. I was starting to enjoy it but had to keep a stern look on my face, just in case they thought about taking me on the boat again .....
When we got home some new men came to play with me at our house, and in between plays took some of our windows out and put new ones in. Herself paid them with mugs of tea, one mug each per hour: it seemed a good exchange rate. Each time they had tea my people reminded them that Labradors didn't need feeding on person-biscuits: instead of having a biscuit one of the men kept putting lighted paper in his mouth and blowing smoke out through his nose. I couldn't see the point of it myself and don't suppose it will catch on .... Just when I thought I had them trained they finished and another man called John came to do things to the walls of the house. He has a special drink called "builderstea" — to be honest it looks like something I would roll in but he seems to like it.
Well that's enough for now, as you can see the grass is growing and soon they'll be cutting silage and planting the maize. My home page is still here, with some new pictures of me in action.
Madai - your rovering reporter