Since we last spoke I have become a sea-dog! This all started with a drive in the car – I have a door that is all my own and the makers have even put in a fence to stop people climbing into my part and bothering me when I'm driving. They even get strapped down to make sure they stay in their place! I look out of my big rectangular window and off we go – if other cars or vans come too close I pop up and give them a hard stare or show them how sharp my teeth are – they soon go away! My people have things to play with at their end of the car, to help them pass the time, and then when I'd had a rest we'd arrived. First we went to visit my lady person's mother. She lives by a pavement and I had to tell my people whenever anyone went past in the night. They liked this so much they shouted their appreciation which is OK as my lady-person's mother doesn't hear too well. Then we went to live on a boat: all the other people there had funny voices and ate porridge. There were lots of oil-rig anchors stuck in the grass so I had my picture taken by one. I liked the boat as it was cosy and at night I could get up and lick my peoples' faces if they were snoring. One day the boat went out onto the sea and my man-person pulled some white sheets up a big metal stick that was in the middle of the boat – to be honest I don't know what that was about and I have my doubts that he did either! I had to stay in my bed in the downstairs part while the floor lifted up on one side then the other: when I stood up I fell over. I soon got used to it however and told my people how much I was enjoying it with my loudest voice. Then we went on another boat called a Ferritobelfast which was very big and noisy, but I had a new bone to teach a lesson to so the trip soon passed and at the end we came to my cousin Tess.
She has 2 small people to look after and it was quite noisy there, so we went swimming in the Loch and disturbed the fishermen. One of them had left a dead fish that was almost as good to roll in as fox poop, so after that my man-person threw another stick into the Loch for me to chase after and when I came out I was put on my lead.
Next time I think I'll tell you about my friend Charlie, the police dog.
Madai – Your Rovering Reporter