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Madness letters

by Arena Webteam – 16th June 2018 @ 10:10pm
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2016 minshull madness 36

The famous 'Minshull Madness' returns to the Badger's field on 1st September. A fun event for all the family, it is set to be even crazier than last year and all Church Minshull residents are invited. In the run-up to the event, there's going to be a Madness competition, find out more here

Would you believe that we've started to receive a few letters about the Madness? The first being from the one and only Lewis Carroll himself (pasted at the bottom of this post). We've also received another couple of letters – one claiming that the first letter from Lewis Carroll was a fraud. Surely not!?? The others are from Royalty(!!), the Secret Sunflower Sower (what???), a dormouse and a rather unhappy resident. Who would have thought our little village would attract such attention?

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Church Minshull
10th August 2018

Dear Editor,

I wish to complain about this Madness thing which appears to be completely out of hand.

I ignored the fact that you have published letters by people who claimed to be a famous author, which would have been amusing but for the fact that he died in 1898 so clearly cannot be writing letters in 2018.

Secondly, you have printed letters purporting to come from characters who are clearly fictitious. I mean who ever thought the Queen of Hearts was real?

But worse than this, my third best socks have been taken and ruined. When I tracked these precious items down, I found that the toes had been hacked open. I asked the individual who had carried out this damage why they had done this, only to be informed that they were needed for a Madness model!!

Well! All I can say is that the residents of Church Minshull are clearly all models of Madness and this needs to stop. I trust my dear Editor that you will cease to publish anything relating to this idiocy and stop encouraging people to take part.

Disgusted and slightly annoyed from Church Minshull

Church Minshull
7th August 2018

Dear All

Can dormice enter the Madness competition? I have a great idea.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


Church Minshull
30th July 2018

Dear Sir,

This summer has been direr than dry and I have persevered with my superb sunflowers so that I can again beat all-comers. I had to listen to various people in the village accuse all sorts of people of being me – waiting to again show my skills and grow the best sunflowers.

You can imagine my anger when I found out that there is no sunflower competition this year. I let everyone have free run last year to encourage competition worthy of my talents this year.

Well you don't get rid of me that easy; I am building the biggest and of course best Madness model. Whatever you have planned, it won't beat me.

I am the Secret Sunflower Sower aka Magnificent Model Maker

Wonderland Palace
The day before today was yesterday


It has come to my attention that you residents of Church Minshull are having a competition to make characters from the kingdom to display as some form of Madness.

I am somewhat amused.

Anyone who makes a model of me will be well rewarded – unless I don't like it – then it will be off with their head!

Whilst I am thinking about it, anyone who doesn't take part shall be separated from their head as well!

I am looking forward to being amused,


(Her Majesty the Queen of Hearts)

26th June 2018

Dear Mr Editor,

In recently trawling the web pages for your village I note a letter from someone calling themselves "Lewis Carroll" who is making a claim for £9.99.

This person is an imposter, I am the real Lewis Carroll. If you were to search the worldwide inter web thingy you would see this to be the case. I do not charge for you to use my ideas especially as your Minshull Madness thingymebob is for children. I am particularly fond of, and have a regular correspondence with many children.

It strikes me that you may not realise that whilst Alice is very real her "Adventures in Wonderland" are only real if you are a child! Any adult taking part in this event is clearly MAD!


Charles L Dodgeson (Rev)

10th June 2018

Dear Sir,

I note from your inter web site that your village proposes to hold a "Minshull Madness" event based on the theme of Alice in Wonderland.

Whilst this is a wonderful idea I note that you have not paid me a royalty for this and as such it cannot take place. Alice is my idea and you cannot just take it for your own use.

My normal fee is £999,999,999 but as you are a small village I will settle for £9.99. You may forward this to my publishers at their usual address.


Lewis Carroll

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